So Close To Goal? Already?

Alright, more Camp NaNo ramblings here.

On Tuesday’s post, I had said I was at 18.7k words all together (roughly).

Three days later, I’m now at 28k.

My goal is 31k.

I have a feeling I’m going to hit that tomorrow. Only ten days into the month…

As soon as I hit 30k, I am upping my goal to 50k for the month. If by some miracle, I get close to hitting that before the goal change cut off dates, I’m upping my goal to 60k. I was going to be ecstatic if I hit 50k, now I’m going to be ecstatic if I hit 60k or higher for this month.

Over the past two days, I have felt like I’m burning myself out a bit though. It was hard to get myself started. Once I hit the keyboard though, it just started flowing like every other time I write. So maybe it’s just that initial “get going” sort of phase. I was distracted for most of the day before I actually started writing or I could have hit that 31k today I’m sure. (YouTube, Facebook, and Wattpad are major time sucks and determinates to writing.)

Although, I did have laundry to do today as well. I was also supposed to plan out some upcoming chapters for this novel, but I ended up not doing that. Maybe I’ll plan a little on my break at work tomorrow.

The farther I get into this novel, the more I’m realizing it might end up being a little longer than I anticipated. I think. I’m not very good at estimates. As of today though, Darkness Becomes Her has officially broken over 100 pages long in Word. It’s just under 50k at the moment, too.

This is thee farthest I’ve gotten with a story. Well, a novel I should say. I’ve finished short stories a few times. Novel attempt wise this is my best so far. Breaking Point hasn’t even come close to this. That novel is about 40 pages long or so? I can’t remember exactly, but with Camp this month, I have BLOWN that record away. I’ve written 59 pages so far in this story in ten days.

The more I write, the more excited I’m getting. This story/series/book has been the baby I’ve been nursing in my head for years. This is the series I want to get published. Not self publish, but actually get published by an agency. (Of course, if that doesn’t happen, I will self publish it. I’m hoping the former will happen though. I’ve got high hopes for this series.) I’m starting to wonder if I’m rushing things a bit, but that’s what the editing process is for, right?

I mean, I have some notes planned out, I have more I need to make and such. I’m following what I wanted — minus when my characters are starting to throw me curveballs! Like the last couple chapters they threw me a few. Though this last curveball in the current chapter is actually perfect, it’s going to really set up a thought process for later in the book. It’s a stand out moment.

Anyways, with me being so close to my original goal, I can’t help but sit here and ask myself, “What the hell took you so long to light a fire under your ass like this?”

Honestly, I tried for months to really get going. Now I feel like some switch has been flicked in me. I’m getting into a habit of writing, and the more I do each day this month (I haven’t missed a day yet!), the more I’m finding it easier to stick too. I’m not losing ideas so quickly or forget where I was going.

I have learned my lesson on the note taking bit. I’ve been making hand written notes, and leaving myself notes in the Word doc as well. I’ve finally caught on to that little bit.

Funny story on that one:

Yesterday, with the one curveball my character threw me, she was supposed to go outside and play in the snow with her parents. Well, she ended up wanting to play a board game (Candy Land). A board game I have not played in I don’t know how long.

A board game that I ended up pulling out of my closet (no idea why I still have it) and took to my parents to play as a refresher course. As research.

Yes, you heard me right. I played Candy Land to remember the game so I could write it for my character. The odd looks I got from my parents were awkward and priceless all at once. Needless to say, I won too. Lol.

Anyways, I think that about sums my ramblings up for Camp in the past couple of days.

Minus what is going on in the chapter I’m on now. Not a pretty scene. I forget how evil and dark my villain can be at times… Then it makes me wonder, what dark hole did you crawl out of in my mind? I’m not sure I want to know, honestly.

Topic-less

I had all these ideas for posts last week. And now…

Zero. Zilch. None. Nada. Nope. Big fat goose egg.

I am completely topic-less, and I have no clue how. Must of all gone in one ear and out the other in the past week. Typical.

So, really, I have no idea what I’m writing here. (Or even why I’m bothering to write a post then.) This is literally going to end up as me rambling along.

As I already am…

*Sigh*

Maybe I should just save you all the boredom of reading a pointless blog post and stop now and hit that little delete button. Then again, if I had done that you wouldn’t be reading these words at all, sooo…

I pretty much just shot myself in the foot there.

When I want my brain to shut up with all the ideas and the race track speed, it only goes faster and gets more confusing. But when I actually WANT an idea, I get nothing. Go figure. I swear my brain just loves to screw with me. Or maybe it’s the characters in my head refusing to shout at me and argue for once. (Their silence is starting to scare me.)

Who knows?

I guess I won’t know why I’m without a topic — or any constructive brain thought at all — right now until something finally decides to slap me in the face again. Until then, I suppose I might as well get some mindless stuff done. (Like organizing or putting my laundry away.)

Now watch, as soon as I start the mindless stuff, I’ll get sucker punched by an idea and the characters will start to yell again. Happens evvvvery the time. *Rolls eyes* I swear they do it just to toy with me because they get bored.

(And what do you know, now that I started to think of the mindless stuff, the topic ideas — and the characters — just came back. GAH!!)

I give up, they win…

My Overactive Mind

Wow, I nearly forgot about this. Just like I forgot about the last one. (Excluding the Sunday Snippet.) And I’m just going to make this on time.

Anyways…

My mind has been traveling down a lot of different paths as of late, and I’m finding myself almost wanting to scream and shout. Have you ever had that feeling where your brain is just being pulling in too many directions at once? Like a massive game of tug-a-war in your head? Or that you have too many tabs open in your mind all going at once like a internet browser?

That’s pretty much how I’ve felt this past week or so.

And the thing is: I’m not even sure what I’m thinking of half the time. There’s so many different thoughts whizzing through my mind that I can’t even focus long enough to determine what they are. It’s like a race track in my mind lately. Lap, after lap, after lap, after lap…

My head is spinning trying to keep up with it. I’m making myself dizzy just thinking about trying to follow the thought’s craziness.

Which brings me to my point of this blog:

How many of you out there journal? And by journal I mean just write to get your thoughts out of your head and down on paper so they stop driving a racecar in your mind. Do you keep a separate notebook or some other private journal where you just write your heart out in? Like a diary, only with a less provocative and secretive name.

I will admit that I do. Though it’s just a plain composition notebook.

There’s times where if I don’t write something out, I feel like I’ll go crazy. (Even though I say sanity is overrated anyways. No, I am not crazy. Well… *pleads the 5th*) Or other times, where I feel so lost and confused, those multiple tabs in my head pulling me every which way, that unless I get something down, I can’t see anything straight. More than half the time it ends up being me rambling on to clear my head. But, hey, if it works, it works in my opinion.

At some times, I wish my brain had an ‘off’ switch. That is seriously something my brain needs, desperately. But unfortunately, no such things has been created or discovered.

Yet.

When that becomes a thing I need to get myself one. My mind is like the energizer bunny. Just keeps going, and going, and going, and going, and… You get the point.

So, if you journal, what do you use? A regular spiral or composition notebook? A sort of diary or pretty journal? A Word doc? Or maybe even 750 words? (Which is a really awesome site for just getting your thoughts organized. Though I’ve never used it myself, I’ve heard great things about it. I prefer pen and paper for journaling. Why? I don’t know, I just do. Maybe it’s for the same reason I prefer a real book over an eBook.)

With that said and off my to do list (which is growing by the minute), I think I’m off to journal myself. Too many thoughts racing up there once more.