Uncooperative

I’ve come to the conclusion that my posts this month hardly have anything to do with NaNo this month and it’s irking the hell out of me. I miss my rants and excitement of Camp stories I have to share during these months. Sadly, this post isn’t going to be much better, though.

My characters are not cooperating. People are not cooperating with me. Work is not cooperating. And… Let’s just say life is not cooperating with me again, nor is time.

Then again, when does time ever cooperate with our plans?

So I was giddy excited for the next chapter I was about to start, and I didn’t want to stop writing. Work and the unfortunate need for sleep got in the way of that. And when I finally got a chance to start writing it…

A certain character is not cooperating as I would have liked. It started out pulling teeth in this new chapter because they weren’t saying anything I needed them to say to get the reaction I needed out of my MC. It’s finally starting to pull together, but it’s not as exciting right now as I thought it would be if it was just flowing smoothly.

I’m more or less swearing at them repeatedly right now.

I had every intention of writing after work yesterday, along with other things, and that turned into a huge bust. (It wasn’t a good day.) Today isn’t going much better yet, and I have to be back at work tonight.

I’m not overly worried about it, I’m less than 3k away from hitting my 31k goal. I would love to have 40k instead for the month, but there’s a lot getting in my way. I’m starting to feel the stress again because I’m getting nowhere fast once more.

That whole Plan of Action I mentioned in the past weeks? Yeah… It’s crumbling apart fast again. The stress is getting to the point I want to say “screw it all” and call everything off I had planned.

But I know I can’t do that, and I also know it’s only going to get worse as the deadlines sneak up.

Part of this falling apart problem is that I know I’m just exhausted lately. It’s also the fact I’m working a lot more again. Barely sleeping. And then there’s the whole I got used to more than one day of alone time in the past two months for my little introvert heart and now that’s gone sooo…

Yeah, it doesn’t help the stress, and it only builds irritation and more exhaustion. I keep saying I need to go crawl into a hole of solitude for a day. Or a week. Maybe longer. Definitely longer. Oh how I wish I lived alone sometimes.

But unfortunately, I won’t have another day off until next Wednesday, and guess what? I don’t even get that day alone! *Sigh* I do so much better in everything when I get to be alone so much more.

Which, by the looks of it, I’m not going to have that for awhile again. The world around me better start bracing for this introvert to blow a gasket soon. I may be quiet and shy and seemingly calm, but my angry side would scare you.