That is exactly where I have gone for the past two months about.
Off the face of the earth and down into some dark hole with no way of climbing back out.
But I did have a valid reason.
You see, about those two months ago, after up setting my Sunday Snippets for the month of November and starting to actually get on a roll and pattern of things, my computer, very suddenly and unexpectedly, crashed.
Internet explorer stopped responding with Toshiba. I could not close out of the browser. I could not get anything to respond. The screen started fizzing and flashing. Not even ctrl alt del would work to close anything out.
In the end, I had to take the battery out and force it to shut down.
And when I tried to turn it back on the next morning…
I got the Toshiba logo screen and then nothing but a blank glowing black screen. I could not do a damn thing. No mouse. No log in screen. Not a damned thing.
Again, I had to take the battery out and force it to shut down.
Countless times for weeks we tried to get it to boot up properly and once we finally got it into safe mode on some stroke of luck and we were able to back up nearly all of my files. We tried countless computer restores, and then computer restarts back to factory grade square one.
But nothing was working.
They would get up to seventy some percent and then crash and burn and stop working again.
Just when everything looked bleak and dull and it was coming down to either buying a new harddrive, or a new computer — granted this one is hardly over two years old to begin with, and I did NOT want to buy a new computer because I liked this one — we had a stroke of luck and the factory restore worked.
It seems now that everything is back up and running in working order. Though it does start up slower and run slower period, it is working once more and that’s about all I care about. Well, that and the fact we were able to save most of my files from being lost, though I did lose pictures in the end. I didn’t lose anything writing related though, thankfully. I would have died if I lost the 12 pages I wrote in my novel right before this crash happened.
I have gotten extremely lucky this time, and that’s to say the least.
I’m still terrified of using my computer though. Scared it’s suddenly going to crash again on me or it’s not going to turn back on. Every time I start it up and get that momentary blank glowing black screen before the sign in icon shows up gives me a mini heart attack and I panic. And every time it takes long to load something I’m panicking it’s not going to work. But hopefully as things still work that little fear will fade away into the backdrop and things will return to normal.
Now, what did this little two month computer lapse cause?
Everything. Just about everything.
I had to drop out of NaNoWriMo just as I hit a groove in writing because I had no computer to write with. (And I never would have made it writing long hand.) I had to drop out of Sunday Snippets — except for the scheduled posts I had made right before the crash — and I couldn’t blog hop or even share my link that I had one up for that week. (Thankfully a good friend was nice enough to share my link to the group.) Obviously I haven’t written a blog post in two months and this blog has been completely silent for all of December now. I haven’t written a word of my novel since this crash and the characters have been driving me up the wall for it. Half of my to do list was unable to be accomplished without a computer (like blog hopping, making a new cover, posting something new to Wattpad, sharing my stories on Wattpad to get more noticed, etc etc.) so I’m even more behind now. And…
You see my point? This damned thing threw my whole existence out of whack.
I ended up turning into a night owl that was going to bed at 1am instead of my normal 3am-ish because I had nothing I could do. That is not okay. That is not okay for me. I was a lost, irritated, stressed, and down puppy for the past two months.
But now that spark of hope that things are going to get back on track is kindling, and I pray that this one doesn’t get snuffed out. It’s been a rough and crappy two months, but now there may be a little bit of light at the end of the tunnel. Hopefully now I can get myself back on track and pick things back up to decrease that long to do list.
And maybe just in time for the New Year.
We shall see how it goes, and I pray that I can crawl back onto the Earth and stay there this time without disappearing unexpectedly. Except, Mercury’s Retrograde is coming up next week so…
Fingers crossed. Fingers crossed.