Arguing With Myself

Or maybe it’s more like playing tug of war with myself. Or more like debating.

Either way, I’m not sure which half of me is winning. I think it’s rather neutral right now, which isn’t helping me, of course.

I’m still debating on NaNoWriMo. That’s what all the arguing, debating, tug of warring is about.

I know, I know, I said more than a week ago I wasn’t going to because it would end up being the death of me with everything else going on. And then I said I was probably going to be the idiot that made up my mind at 11:59pm on October 31st saying “Screw it all!” and go for it. Then I went back to saying nope, can’t do it. Now…

You see where my tug of war is coming from?

Right now I seem to be stuck over that center ground where no one is winning. Though I think the “no” side is starting to gain some ground again. Work for the next week and a half will be the death of me when we’ve got surprise visits from the really big bosses, like the guys at the top of the chain, next week. Which means making the store look perfect, as in grand opening kind of perfect.

It’s. Going. To. Be. Hell.

Who am I kidding? It’s already been hell the past two days. I’ve still got three more long days to go this week and I’m already exhausted and ready to wave the white flag after two.

I will probably still be debating over NaNo for the rest of week. But I still have so much else to do as well, and no time.

Seriously, what is this thing called free time anymore? I have none.

My time consists of work, attempting to get some sleep, maybe finding time to eat, and all the other necessities of the day. There is no free time. Especially not with the never ending to do list.

There’s always a constant supply of things that need done. The to do list, work, the holiday season, and stress. I’m finding stress is one of those constants lately.

So tell me again why I want to do NaNo with everything else on my plate?


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