Black Holes, Do Not Disturb Signs, and NaNoWriMo

It’s Friday again, isn’t it?

Now, I know, you all have probably wondered where the hell I have been for the past near month except for my Sunday snippets. (You haven’t? No? Oh, well, wishful thinking then I suppose.)

I seem to have fallen into a black hole that has refused to allow me an exit. Or maybe I’ve just fallen off the face of the Earth, or down into a hole that is too deep for me to crawl out of. Any one of those would suffice as my explanation.

Well, maybe not…

You see, in the world of retail, the holiday season of 2015 started last month already. And I have been working like crazy for it. Between readying the store, vacations of other managers, and a whole crap load of other things going on that make me want to pull my hair out and curse out the world, I have been having very little time to get anything done.

Let’s be honest, half the time I don’t even know what the hell day it is anymore. Hence why I asked above if today was Friday, considering in my books, today is Wednesday, because I still have three more shifts to get through.

No… Wait, that’s not right. Today is Tuesday to me, tomorrow is Wednesday, Sunday is Thursday, and Monday is finally Friday. And I had two Mondays at the start of this period! Meaning I’m working six days straight, then I only get one day off before I’m back at it.

UGH.

Sometimes I question my reasoning for going into retail and being a manager. There is no such thing as a weekend to me anymore. It’s work five days in a row, get one off, work three more in a row, get one off, work six in a row, get on off, etc. etc.

It. Sucks.

You know what makes it even worse? Bitchy customers, no show employees, too much freight that we have no room for, and back to back shifts of closing the store and opening it the next day.

Can I wave the white flag yet?

I never thought I’d hear myself say this, but I wish it was February of next year already. Then the holiday season and inventory would be over. I’m in major trouble if I wish that already, it’s going to be a loooooong couple of months.

But, yes, that is my reasoning for why I have dropped off the face of the Earth into some black hole. With me working so much, I am barely finding time to get anything I need to do done, let alone finding time to write. Hell, I’m hardly finding time to sleep or peace and quiet.

(Which is not helping my overall attitude lately. I’m a ticking time bomb right now that can go one of two ways: Explosion or self destruction.)

I’m an introvert, I need my me time. You know how much I’m getting? Yep, you guessed it. Zip. Zero. Zilch. Nada. Non-existent. None.

I’ve come to the conclusion I am going to start wearing a “Do Not Disturb Or I Will Murder You” sign on my forehead from now on. Maybe that’ll solve some of my problems.

Oh don’t laugh, a girl can dream. And a very desperate girl can seriously hope.

Which, this whole no-time-for-anything-but-work thing is what brings me to my next option weighing on my brain:

NaNoWriMo.

Yep, that’s right, it is only two measly weeks away and at this point, I have no idea if I’m even going to attempt it.

Now, I know I did say a couple months ago I was going for it. I did 50k in Camp, I can do it here, right?

HA!

I’m not so sure about that anymore with the holidays. I can dream, but I’m pretty sure it’s not happening. With long hours, long weeks, long days, and everything else that’s going to start up come November, I honestly don’t think I’m going to do it.

I wish I was, but… It seems my life reads like a tape recorder on repeat now:

Work, work, scavenge for food, barely sleep, get nothing else done, work, work.

I’ve lost whatever sanity I had left. So, sadly, I don’t think I’m going to be attempting NaNo. It actually hurts to think I won’t be, and it’s going to eat away at me like some failed attempt, but I will end up killing myself between writing, work, and the holiday if I try. If I think I have no time now, November will be a nightmare if I attempt it. I don’t think I have the patience or willpower to get through it without blowing a gasket somewhere along the way.

At this rate, I’m lucky if I remember to write a blog post on Tuesdays and Fridays — like I haven’t been. Or if I manage to get through the Sunday Snippet blog hop before Saturday — like I haven’t been also. Add writing 50k words in a month to that mix with work and the holiday as well and…

Yeah, I’m not even going to go there.

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4 thoughts on “Black Holes, Do Not Disturb Signs, and NaNoWriMo

  1. I totally understand the black hole. I was working the 6-day weeks for the last year of my life, and pretty much everyone but my roommates, customers, and bartender forgot I existed. If NaNoWriMo is important to you, I believe anything is possible, but you know best for you.

    Do what you can is my motto. There are other years, and other months.

    Like

    • I’m pretty sure everyone has forgotten I exist already. NaNo is important, but speaking from experience — and the fact I am horrible at follow through and self motivation — I know I’m just going to be setting myself up to fail if I try. Plus, next year won’t be any different in retail.

      Like

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