S.O.S! Please Send Energy!

I’ve had absolutely no energy or motivation the past couple days.

Work has killed me the past two weeks with barely any time off. And this week, and next week, isn’t going to be any easier. It’s been one sporadic day off here and there with long shifts and even back to back shifts that really kill me.

I have been drained in more ways than one lately. Mentally from everything going on, emotionally because things aren’t working out very easily and my temper is short, and physically because I am exhausted.

Last week I had finally managed to make that shopping trip for some editing things, but since then I haven’t made a move to work on it.

I’ve gotten myself back into writing more, at least. I was making headway on a 15k deficit. (At least, I think it was 15k before. I forget, the days are blurring together working so much.) Or, I was making headway until yesterday when work really left me drained.

I had gotten myself down to an 11k deficit, and even if I just held at that same deficit on the days I worked, I was happy. It meant I wasn’t falling any further behind.

Except, I was so tired that I didn’t get any writing done yesterday. Everything hurt, I couldn’t focus, I was just ready to collapse. Today I finally had a day off, and I’ve totally blew it.

I’m still exhausted, and being so drained gave me a headache for half of the day. I didn’t want to do any work or running around knowing work was just going to be the same thing the next couple days again.

So, it’s ten o’clock, and I’m only now sitting down to do some things. This post being one of them. I had wanted to get caught up on what is now a 12k deficit — and may be a 13k by the end of the night, depending on what happens. I had hoped for at least three or four thousand words today to put me into single digits on the deficit. I could have made up the rest and made goal for the month if I did that.

But now… I’m not so sure of what’s going to happen.

I hate when I do this, but I need more than one day off to have any motivation. Let alone to have the energy I need. Yeah, I know, I’m still young, I shouldn’t have a problem with that. But when you’re an introvert and you work in retail…

Ha! Forget having energy.

And in retail, from here on out is the holiday season. The madness of so many things going on at once, already getting ready for those Black Friday and Christmas shoppers, has begun. (I don’t want to hear one word about either of those holidays anytime soon!) The end of September, beginning of October is the start of it when things switch so quickly in the store and the amount of product we get becomes never ending. This year is going to be even harder on me since it’s my first holiday season as a manager.

I’m not looking forward to this. I wish I was back on freight crew, but I screwed myself there.

Needless to say, I’m hoping I get some things done bit by bit on the days I work, then hopefully have a productive day Friday when I’m off again. Although, I’ve got two long shifts in the next two days so I might be drained again.

Tomorrow is Mabon, though, so I’m hoping I have some energy for things. Plus, I want to stop at Michael’s and see what goodies they have up for Halloween. Maybe that’ll get my spirits and energy up. It normally does for this girl…


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