First off, Happy Father’s Day to all the dad’s out there in the U.S. and everywhere really. And also happy first day of summer! A Blessed Litha as well for those that know what it is. ;)
I am still going to continue on with my work from Camp NaNoWriMo, Darkness Becomes Her. A dark fantasy novel in the works yet.
Picking up right where I left off in last week’s snippet again. Heather is still facing the scary woman that came to her bedroom unexplainably and is now trying to get away from the woman after crying and screaming for her parents. But are her efforts in vain?
Please still keep in mind that since this is a first draft, it is rather rough and unedited yet. (Some sentences may have been creatively punctuated to try to fit the ten sentence limit. I might be one sentence over. Better than how I struggled last week though!)
“L-Leave me a-alone!” she sobbed, screaming yet. The woman yanked her back even rougher this time and forced her face down on the bed, pulling her arms behind her. Heather cried and dropped her teddy bear that she had been clinging to for comfort, trying weakly to pull away from the woman’s strong grip.
“Do not fight,” the woman spat hatefully now, sneering down at the whining and crying child as she tied her hands behind her back, too tight. She was no longer in the mood to gloat now that the child was acting like such a pathetic baby.
“It h-hurts!” Heather cried, trembling in terror as the tears streaked down her face. “Mommy! D-Da–!” she broke off with a scream of pain as the same stinging sensation tore through her entire body, making her cry harder and try to curl up on herself.
The woman grabbed her by her hair none to gently and hauled her up, making her scream and blubber again; she yanked her head back roughly, hissing in her ear. “Shut up, you pathetic mortal, make one more sound and I will curse you worse than that little stinging sensation. Understood?” she growled, giving her head another yank.
Heather whimpered and cried, too petrified to answer her and the woman didn’t seem pleased with that for with another growl, she cursed her once more, making her terrified sounds even louder yet.
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What an intense scene. Why don’t mum and dad hear her? Well done.
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I don’t really explain why they don’t hear her because I want the reader to guess and to keep reading hoping help with come. But… Let’s just say there’s something…preventing it. ;) Start guessing. LOL.
Thanks for reading!
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“She was no longer in the mood to gloat now that the child was acting like such a pathetic baby.”
What the hell was she thinking, the child is a baby! She is deranged all right but I’m starting to think she is not bright enough to make herself an heir. This is disturbing.
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LOL. You’ll see how bright she is soon enough. I probably shouldn’t mention that it could get worse then, should I?
I hope it’s not a bad disturbing for you! I’m sorry if it is.
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Sounds like the woman is a masochist, liking pain and fear in others. Good snippet, Daelyn.
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She very well might be, you’ll see.
Thanks for reading!
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Great scene–I liked the contrast between the teddy bear and the woman’s actions.
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Thank you! The teddy bear was literally a spark of genius I threw in there. I’m glad I put it in there now.
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This is so scary. You’ve captured a child’s worst nightmare so well.
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Thank you, Elaine.
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I’m beginning to wonder why she chose this child for her heir. She doesn’t seem to think too highly of her.
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Okay… I’m just going to throw the word ‘yet’ at the end of your sentence. You’ll understand when you see her motive for picking this girl. Think back what she thought during the prologue while she was watching her in her backyard.
Thanks for reading!
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Seems like she’s trying to warp her early on… the hostility is training.
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Good eye. You might just be on to something there. ;)
Thanks for reading!
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