I am still going to continue on with my work from Camp NaNoWriMo, Darkness Becomes Her. A dark fantasy novel in the works yet.
Picking up right from where I left off in last week’s snippet. The figure that just appeared in the child’s room is looking down at Heather.
Please still keep in mind that since this is a first draft, it is rather rough and unedited yet. (Some sentences may have been creatively punctuated to fit the ten sentence limit.)
Heather stirred in her sleep and rolled over so that her back was to the woman standing by her bedside, completely oblivious to the fact she was not alone in her room anymore.
The woman chuckled a little darkly to herself before leaning over the small child, close to her ear; she grasped Heather’s arm, her long nails digging into her arm painfully. “Wake up, mortal,” she whisper-hissed. “You’re going for a little trip.”
Heather woke up immediately, whimpering from the pain in her arm, wondering if it was just part of the dream she had been having; until her eyes latched onto the woman hovering over her. They widened in surprise and terror and she was about to scream and yell for her parents when the woman clapped her other free hand over her mouth, silencing her.
She tsked, still holding her tightly. “No screaming, they cannot help you now as it is. Be a good mortal and stay silent for your mentor,” she sneered wickedly. “She doesn’t like it when her Heir disobeys.”
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Oooooh! That’s not ominous or anything–especially the ‘mortal’ part. And the ‘heir’ part. All the parts . . .
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Thank you. Just wait till next week then.
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Wow! That scene had me all stressed. What is going on?! Great snippet. Can’t wait to come back for more.
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Oh you’ll see. I will get there. Think back to the first snippets I posted though, then try to make the connection for who is who. ;)
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“…they cannot help you now…”
Now, that’s ominous!
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It’ll get better. Just wait. ;)
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Well, that’s not what I expected to happen… *blinks* no,still not what I expected. Poor Heather….
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What were you expecting?
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Something a little less physical and more mind-altering…
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*Slow, wicked grin* Oh just wait…
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SCARY! You captured a nightmare moment perfectly.Great snippet!
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Thank you. :)
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“whisper-hissed”… very evocative way of describing it. Very effective too. You’ve really drawn this scene well.
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Thank you. :)
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Way to go … great description to make me feel scared as well. Great snippet!
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Thank you.
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Omigosh, I am NOT turning the lights off tonight. This was very scary. The use of the terms mortal and heir have spine-chilling results.
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LOL. Oh and it can get so much worse too. ;) Glad I’m getting the desired effect I was going for though.
Thanks for commenting!
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That’s super scary! Well done.
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Thank you!
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So scary. She’s an Heir? Of what? Doesn’t sound promising.
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Oh you’ll find out eventually. She’s not an Heir…yet. But it won’t be good. ;)
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