I am still going to continue on with my work from Camp NaNoWriMo, Darkness Becomes Her. A dark fantasy novel in the works yet.
I’m skipping ahead by one paragraph from last week’s snippet and jumping right to the dialogue that my villain, Ciara, answers with to the man she is speaking to. He had just told her to face that her quest for finding an heir is pointless and she should give it up, which, inevitably, pissed her off.
Please still keep in mind that since this is a first draft, it is rather rough and unedited yet. (Some sentences may have been creatively punctuated to fit the ten sentence limit. I think I might be one sentence over though.)
“Listen closely,” I whispered harshly. “You are but a fool who believes that which you think is right and just to do; neither you or the rest of that pathetic town know my true intentions or motives for acquiring an Heir. If you know that which is best for you, you would do well to stay out of my way and give up your own foolish and pointless attempts to sway me to a more suitable path that is not of darkness and wickedness. Do not forget who I am, fool; I am the Dark One, and you will address me as such like the rest of that realm. Or be you the most foolish of them all to even dare speak my name?”
I could see the man’s adams apple bob up and down as he gulped. He was trying his best to not appear afraid — truly, he was — though it was of little use. There wasn’t a soul within Dallen that did not fear me, and then some. I could hardly believe he had the audacity to even attempt to stand up to me, let alone to even think of it. He was looking to fall victim to me as all the rest did, but still he kept it up.
One day though; one day he would learn his mistake.
He would learn why I am the Dark One, and why I am feared above all else.
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I actually kind of like her…
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O.O What? Why?
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I always wondered why the bad guys always have to explain themselves so much. I think some torture is in order now. How dare he defy her?
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Because no one can understand why they do what they do except themselves. She’s not going to do anything…yet. She’s got bigger plans for him.
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Creepy. Though I like the confidence of the Dark One. “He would learn why I am the Dark One, and why I am feared above all else.” Cocky. I like that. Reminds me Angelus from Buffy and Angel. :)
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Thank you.
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Intriguing snippet, Daelyn.
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Thank you.
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She’s determined, that’s for sure :-D
And yeah, I kind of like her too. Though…. I do think it’d be more cool if she didn’t see herself as evil and dark so much as just damned right.
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Very determined, yes.
She does see what she’s doing as right in her mind, but she also knows she’s dark, and evil. She wanted to be that way. You’ll see.
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In love with this snippet! Way to go.
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Thank you. Glad you liked it.
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OK, I’m convinced – she’s the Dark One all right! Really liked her ‘voice’….intriguing snippet.
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Thank you. She can get much worse than this, trust me. ;)
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