I guess I shouldn’t be surprised. Really, I shouldn’t when this happens all the time.
Every time, every failure to follow through with what I wanted to do, is still like I had a knife twisted in me.
Remember those plans I had two weeks ago? The ones for getting all those notes finished before March, along with a few other (probably) more important things. Remember me saying I gave myself a deadline of two weeks to do them all so I could be back on track for March and try again at the 1K-A-Day challenge?
I failed. I failed miserably.
What’s the use of giving myself a deadline when I don’t even follow it? I didn’t get one thing done that I wanted to. Not one single thing. It all went up in smoke.
Sometimes I feel as if the universe just conspires against me. Sometimes I just find myself saying “screw it”, what’s the point of trying when I know I’ll fail anyways. Sometimes I wonder why I even bother to get my hopes up.
Actually, not sometimes. All the time.
I need a new muse… One that actually works…